I was alone on the beach when he walked by, he called to me, I ignored his remarks. He lay beside me, conjuring up the possibilities and mutualities of interest between us. I began to get up; he pinned me down. It was he and I, alone that night. He told me what he was going to do to me, and I was powerless to stop him. I begged and pleaded that he would spare me and that he would spare my virginity, but he ignored me and took it so vigorously, so quickly, that he broke me entirely. My tears seemed to be the only protection of his image. There was no one I could call, there was no one else to blame. I lay deserted on that cold beach, discarded like a worthless rag doll. But somehow, within my shame, I raised myself up. It was as if all hope was not lost, and the moonlight empowered my soul. I realized the circumstances of the tragedy that had befallen upon me and in that moment, I remembered his cold hands, and his lingering breath that menacingly chanted my name. And then it dawned on me, the possibility that I had been seeded; the possibility of evil growing within me. The ocean, glistening, called my name softly. And it was there in the moonlight, that I felt tainted: I needed to be purified. I sought refuge in the ocean; I ran desperately towards my salvation. And as I swam, my sins were forgiven and I was reborn -- but my internal happiness was forever taken, and the possibility of giving birth to his child made my heart heavy. As I kicked and bobbed in the freezing walter, I could not shake the fact that half of my being was now his, forever. So I let go, I stopped. I allowed myself to submerge underneath the coldness of the water. I did not attempt to resurface, it was my choice entirely. It was my chance and desire to save what was left of my body, mind and soul. It was my only chance to be forgiven, and then reborn. It was my last chance to prove to myself, that I was indeed, still powerful.
* Inspired by The Awakening










